Hair Therapy

I've been in a bit of funk lately. And by funk I mean full blown depression complete with fashion sensibility meltdown. Case in point: today I was wearing a plum and pink top with dark gray stripped pants and...wait for it...beige socks. I know! It's reached critical levels. Code red! Or blue! Or something.

Thankfully this only happens to me about once a year [Usually in winter when I haven't been getting enough of my vitamin sun, have been gaining my share of the freshman 15 without the tuition bills and am stressed out with holiday "cheer" about all the Christmas/birthday/ thank-you/bar mitzvah presents I have to buy that I don't have the money for].

Undercover Mother even gave me her reserve-for-dire-striates "Mary Tyler Moore chat" to snap me out of it. Somehow I'm feeling more Murphy Brown-in-the-dumps than Mary Tyler Moore-enthusiasm.

To top it off, I was suffering from a bad case of "cartoon hair" - hair so out of control that it could only be seen on a cartoon like Yugioh. I tried to tame my mane with a headband and bobby pins and hair spray with the remaining bit tucked back into a mini pony tail and more hair spray. Alas it was in vain. Or wait, is that me?

My coworkers actually asked my boss if I could go home "hair sick" it was THAT bad. So, I took my last $50 until pay day and got my hair cut. There's nothing like getting your hair cut to cheer you up. All it took was one Charlie's Angels hair flip and I'm back in action.

It didn't completely cure my funk. I promptly called a bottle of wine "fucker" tonight when half the cork broke off inside the bottle. And I'm currently devouring my second piece of cheesecake in 12 hours. But somehow, I think I'll make it after all.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Tomorrow, it's all coming off. Yes, I'm feeling brazen and in the words of Freddie Mercury, "I want to break free"... from my hair that is. And to be honest [pause for effect] I'm getting a bit anxious. It was quite the topic of convo at work as my coworkers helped me review pages (and pages) of hairstyle mags for possibilities. But I've picked "the one". It's quite short. And I'm going to trying wearing it straight for bit.

Going short for a girl can be tricky; it's a delicate balance between pixie and butchy. And one person holds all the power...the stylist. I've chosen a new gal, Wendy (on the recommendation of Undercover Mother and her daughter Bridget - they both have bloody fantastic cuts). Undercover Mother is feeling a bit anxious herself; concerned that I'll blame her if my cut doesn't turn out as pictured (I won't...at least not out loud anyway). I tried to reassure her, wigs are so "in" right now!

But I can't seem to shake the fear that I'll end up looking like a cross between Clay Aiken and Little Orphan Annie. Definately not sexy (sorry Annie).

I'm still suffering side effects from the last time I cut it all off. My curls were half-way down my back and during summer break I lopped them off within an inch of my head. You can't imagine the hoopla - hundreds of fans wrote into the show flaming mad that I'd cut my beautiful hair. No wait, that happened to Felicity's Keri Russell. But it was quite similar. Except fans didn't write (it was my family, and it wasn't letters exactly, but lots and lots of words were involved). And I guess I wasn't on a show however I do like it when I'm the center of attention but I digress.

I remember feeling lighter (literally, my hair weighs a bit) but at the same time, losing some of my identity. Strangers no longer came up to me at random and asked to touch my hair. Instead they just asked to touch my belly (I was pregnant). I was no longer "the girl with the beautiful hair" but just a girl [tear]. I missed the hollow attention I got because of my hair which now seems so completely stupid. I know how to get attention in other more positive ways, like low cut shirts. Er, um, I mean my brain ;)

Point blank, no matter how my hair turns out tomorrow, I'm looking forward to a change. As if by fate, Shoppers Drug Mart had a fabulous sale on hair straigtheners today. I just happened to swing by the "hair accessory" isle on my way to the tic tacs. How's that for a sign?

Unfortunately they also had a sale on hair pieces.