Wedding Planning: The Sea Sick Edition

Ok, so...the wedding to Paul is off. Not off off. But delayed. Way delayed. As in 6 months kind of delayed.

It sucks being sick. On the plus side, it gives me time to lose the weight I've gained being sick. Which is ironic because when you think of someone being sick, you think of someone small and tiny and fragile, not the lime backer I've become.

Gone is the "elope and let someone in a foreign country plan the details of our day" line of thinking.

In is the "what the heck are we going to do now" line of thinking.

Paul and I are finding ourselves faced with questions about why we're not eloping anymore from people who don't know I'm sick. I didn't really want to tell many people. Only my closest family and friends knew the real story. So, we get to create all sorts of fun reasons why we're getting married in 8 months and 5 days, instead of in 3 months.

When it comes to all things-wedding, we're opting for anti-boring. Did you really expect anything less from moi? Since this is the second wedding for both Paul and I (first to one another though!), it's a lot easier to plan the wedding we want, and not give in to outside pressure.

We're going for an intimate and romantic feeling. At first I thought intimate meant cheaper. [Note: It does not].

Out: large guest list of people we hardly know
In: 100 of our closest friends and family
Out: church ceremony and tacky legion reception/dance
In: ceremony and reception on a tall ship
Out: cheesy wedding music
In: cellist playing on board
Out: wedding cake
In: cheesecake

We went and toured the wedding venue (aka the boat). And there's only one problem. We were on it for a total of 20 minutes and I was seasick. I can picture it now...Paul and I turn to face each other, to recite the vows we've written for one another, and instead I turn and vomit over the side of the boat.

Isn't it romantic?

Dead On Arrival

See this guy? He's not a doctor but he plays one on TV.

In a moment, he's going to place those paddles on a patient.

I think I could use his services on the men I've been dating lately. They all seem to have had their heart stopped (or even worse, ripped out) by their ex-wives/ ex-girlfriends/ ex-housekeepers.

Much like a critical patient laying unconscious on an ER stretcher, these guys are in no condition to be out walking about with non-patients and going out on dates as if they're whole.

But they do.

And I'm not a doctor. I don't even play one on TV. I could manage a little mouth-to-mouth but that's about the extent of my medical training.

So we all know how this ends. Things are DOA before the entrees.

Which is a pitty. Because I was really looking forward to dessert.

Match Making 101: Pre-Pre Date Getting To Know You

When you find yourself on the receiving end of a well meaning relative/friend/coworker/minister/dentist who has a potential person of interest (aka PPI), you have a few choices...

You can:
a) run screaming from the house/cubicle/building/dentist's chair/confessional
b) graciously ask for more details as you're always up for meeting new people including cute pilots (or something...that was just an example)
c) think, here we go again and wonder what you did for karma to keep biting you in the ass
d) join a travelling band of ambidextrous ukulele musicians

If you opt for "b" you need to be prepared (actually, if you opt for "d" you also will need to be prepared). It's ok to get the basic details - age, height, maritial status and extra appendages. But any more requests for details and you'll be starting to sound like that chick from Murder She Wrote.

Next, comes first contact. Much like an alien invasion, you have to be ready - with your A game. (Not A, as in option "A" listed above because that would be counter productive at this point) but A as in all around amazing (the triple A).

Now I don't have to tell you that I have been on the blind date merry-go-round a few times before [*cough cough*]. And just like a carnival ride, my stomach gets all swirly and I wonder if I'm going to toss my meal.

It can also be exciting! The wind in your hair and the feel of the leather reins gripped tightly in your hands (if one is still on the merry-go-round). If not, it can still be exciting but you're also slightly apprehensive on how much of the "real you" to put on display.

Much like the scene selection on a DVD movie you've rented for the first time, pre-pre date getting to know you shows some of what you might want to see. But you're not sure whether you want to watch the whole movie (including credits).

Ok, enough with the comparisons (even I'm getting lost on my point, and there is one). Basically, I feel a bit rusty on the pre-pre date getting to know you bit. I haven't had to practice any "impression management" techniques in a few months (ok, ok 8 months - you're relentless!). And since we all know how THAT went, I'm left feeling like I don't know which side to put forward first anymore. Sure, I'm going to be the smart and witty redhead, that comes out no matter what I do. In fact, I'll probably be doing that in a neckline enhancing blouse, cute A-line skirt and heels. Ok, so he won't be able to see what I'm wearing while I'm typing my light and breezy "this is one smart and witty chick" email, but I'll know. And knowing is half the battle (according to G.I. Joe anyway...).

I am aware (enough with the emails!) that I take the independent woman role a bit far. So, I'm left trying to figure out how to balance the softer side without seeming helpless. Which I'm not. Or that I don't get hurt sometimes. Which I do [tear].

I recommend not taking the pre-pre date stuff too seriously. Both of you are probably wondering the same questions - will they like me, will there be [sparks/fireworks/no crying] when we meet and why did they wear one blue shoe and one black shoe. You know, your basic first meeting jitters.

Don't even get me started on the pre-date prep work. I'll save that for another post.