Thursday, November 16, 2006

These Boobs Are Made For Walkin'

I'm not sure why, but anytime I gain weight it goes straight to the T&A area. Yes, you read me right...the T&A area. You know...the headlights & bumper, the jigs & reel, the alter & pew, etc etc.

When my "condition" flares up, eventually I become motivated to get back into my workout regimen [tae bo, roller skating, jello wrestling, jogging]. Lately I've noticed that jogging has become, shall we say, uncomfortable. My sports bra puts in a good effort but there's a bit too much forceful bouncing going on.

Naturally this reminds me of the slow-mo running down the beach rescue sequences from Baywatch. How did Pamela Anderson, who is a few sizes (a dozen?) larger than my modest C cup, run in a bathsuit which offers almost zero support? Maybe if you're paid a high salary running foot loose and chesty free doesn't bother you.

Maybe you do it because your male director told you to.

What if when guys gained weight, it went right to your round and wrinklies? I bet that male director wouldn't be up for some running then. Unless he was carefully cradled in a Speedo. But then that would remind me of this...

And I would forget the point of this blog post...if there was one.

6 comments:

Amy said...

Oh yes, you gotta love it when instead of having a nice smooth line under your shirt, you have a lovely roll of fat spilling out over your now very visible cup line.

As if getting fat doesn't suck enough, we can no longer wear our "pretty" bras, we are sentenced to wearing our sports bras until we can correct the problem.

Men just don't realize how good they have it.

Anonymous said...

I read this entry in my bloglines dealie, but decided to pop over to see if any photos accompanied it.

Ouch.

Hannah said...

I've never really understood why the bouncy running thing is so attractive to guys... It's nothing but painful for gals.

Any explanations, anyone?

Erika said...

Amy: I don't think I'd call peeing into a urinal having it "good". Sure, being able to stand up and pee just about anywhere and write name in snow with urine are benefits. I don't think it makes up for being able to check out the size of your neighbor's stallion in the stall next door if you know what I'm saying.

Peter: Were you expecting a different sort of photo?

Hannah: James Bond has the answer. I think it's because they like it shaken and not stired. Bruhahahaha But seriously, you got me.

Kirsten said...

To answer your Pam Anderson part, I think fake boobs are much stiffer. Like a pregnant belly, if you jump up and down your belly doesn't move. I'm afraid our breasts are a lot like our ass cheeks, no matter what size or how fit you are, they are going to jiggle around while running, jumping or thrusting about.

Anonymous said...

Running along the beach with big boobs? Hell no!

Also, I've found the best place to buy bras when you're heavily endowed is actually Macy's. They've begun carrying colors other than white, black, and tan that actually have lace and patterns! Plus if you go on Wednesdays they have extra sales and buy two get one free promotions. Thats big savings when all my freaking bras cost like thirty bucks. >:/