Friday, November 03, 2006

Happy. Period.

[Note: If you are a guy reading this...Stop. Right. Now. Right now I say. You DO NOT want to read any more of this post. Trust me. And no, I'm not using reverse psychology.]

Every day, if you're attuned to the world and what's revolving on around you, you have the opportunity to learn something new. Maybe you have two coworkers meeting after-hours to go over spreadsheets roll over bedsheets.

Today I learned that Always wants women to "Have a happy period." And how am I privy to this information? They told me. Well, they didn't actually "tell" me. I read it. On one of their individually-wrapped products. It actually said "Have a happy period." Are you ****ing kidding me?

I was so offended I threw this product. Well, I didn't actually throw it. I wanted to. But I needed it.

This brilliant new marketing catch phrase must have been created by a man. And since I told the guys not to continue reading this post, they won't mind if I blame men for being insensitive and/or not having a clue. About Periods.

Maybe it's just me, but I know when I'm retaining 5 pounds of fluid, so cranky that Simon Cowell looks like a polite alter boy compared to me, and there's that one pimple that came out of nowhere and has erupted into something the size of Jay Leno's chin, I'm not gonna have a happy period.

On the other hand, if you thought you might be pregnant. But you learned you weren't...I guess then you could have a happy period. You'd be all "Yeah, I'm not pregnant! I got my period." But that's probably the only time that would happen.

Unless ofcourse, if I have 2 L of "cookies and cream" ice cream sitting in front of me, big spoon in hand, while wearing my fat pants watching some senseless-dribble-of-a-movie like "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion" that might make me have a happy... nope. It wouldn't. It might be a slightly better period. But that's it. Period.


Sean said...

i know i was supposed to stop reading. but i didn't. so as a man can i apologize for the jackasses who came up with that campaign? and offer to buy you ice cream?

Amy said...

Erika, I totally agree with you. What was Always thinking? That add campaign pisses me off almost as much as my period does. "Have a happy period" GAG ME! Maybe I could live with "Make the Best of it" as a slogan.

Perhaps the whole idea behind the campaign was to piss women off and get them talking. If so, it's working.

Kirsten said...

I never buy Always, I buy Kotex, and I must say they have never come up with such a stupid saying.

Erika said...

Sean: I would never turn down an offer of ice cream :) Although, even with expresspost I think it would melt by the time it got to Canada.

Amy: Not sure. Yup.

Kiki: I did some research. Their slogan is Kotex fits. Period. It's simple, and to the point.

The British Bird. said...

I wonder how many women want to go in armed to the teeth to their marketing dept and go, "Have a happy THIS you bastards!"

My husband actually finds out when the full moon is coming up, he knows, when thats coming, im not going to be little mz sunshine for a couple of days. Hes got it down to such a science he actually told me, my period was early this time.
I said if he wanted to make himself really useful, go buy some Godiva choccies and keep the fridge stocked with them.