Wednesday, April 08, 2009


I finished my morning pre-work primping routine and headed down the stairs to mix my trusty travel mug full of an especially large dose of coffee. Paul was already out the door, taking the trash to the curb for pick-up. On my way to the kitchen, I noticed Paul chatting it up with a chick at the end of our drive-way. I didn't think much about it, after all, Paul chats with everyone - in the elevator, in line at the grocery store, in the dentist chair, in the bathroom. Ok, maybe not that last one.

While trying to decide whether to wear black stilettos or plum flats I noticed Paul was still chatting with this chick. Hmmm. Someone was being a little too-friendly around the garbage.

I found my nose pressed to the glass by the front door trying to get a better look. Who did this chick think she was? Her and her 6-weeks-too-long-between-trims pixie cut. I was half-way tempted to walk out and pee a circle around Paul. But cooler heads prevailed. And by cooler heads, I mean Paul walked back up the driveway into the house.

Turns out the welcome wagon is our new neighbour. She's also Paul's ex-girlfriend. The one he dated right before moi. It's one thing to run into your man's ex on the sidewalk. It's another to have them shacking up across the street within binocular range. Not that I've looked or anything. Much.

There goes the neighbourhood.


Delicieux said...

ohhhh heelllllll nooo....!!! Are you serious?! Did she SERIOUSLY move in to YOUR neighborhood?! Girl, I will catch a flight and help beat the biatch's ass!

How ever will you deal with that?!


Yikes! This sounds like a rather Wisteria Lane-type situation!

Kirsten said...

Did you ask you man what she had to say... or did you play it off like you never noticed them talking outside?

Erika said...

Delicieux: I don't think even I could make up a Jerry Springer-esque story like this one. Plan 1 to deal includes white wine, and putting my taekwondo sparring skills to good use. Ofcourse Plan 2could involve escaping from Prison.

Grammarphile: Yes, I call it Hysteria Lane.

Kiki: Paul confessed who she was. I tried to "play it cool" but you know how good I am at that. Our momma didn't rasie no actresses if you know what I'm saying. She's shacked up with some older man, so I'm not sweating...yet.