Thursday, May 31, 2007

Come to Momma

Dear Bloggie,

Please forgive me. I've been a very [very] bad girl.

It was not very nice of me to go away like that so suddenly. Shhhhhh. Shhhhhh. It's ok. Erika's back.

There's a lot that's happened since I've been away. To get you up to speed (without the filler and shameless swearing - well, maybe a bit of the swearing), I thought it'd be best to do a...wait for it...list. I know how you like lists. And when I do that special swirly thing with my tongue.

Top 10 Things That Happened While I Lived As A Non-Blogger:
- Took 3 hour allergy test (using both forearms, plus a bicep). Threat of death if consuming nuts or shelfish replaced by much more practical allergy to all trees and grass.
- Slacked off training for marathon. Will now amp up (ie. start) training and run 10 km in three weeks.
- Gained 5-7 pounds (or possibly 20...I don't own a scale and just ask Mr. Stewart, my Grade 10 math teacher, I was never good at guessing)
- Stopped buying succulant celery because my [ex] boyfriend Liam thinks it tastes like water (yes, yes, we're getting to the "ex" part)
- Had horrible drama-filled Sunday morning complete with door slamming, yelling, breaking up and Tim Hortons and uneaten raisin bread toast. Still bruised from quick and painful fall from Cloud #9.
- Considered taking Liam back
- Considered becoming a lesbian
- Remembered I like penises and teeny tiny man boobies
- Had heart-to-heart talk with Undercover Mother complete with crying, ice cream and cotton candy
- Renewed [possibly lifetime] membership to the "Single Girls Club"

See, you didn't miss too much.



Amy said...

I hear you on the lesbian thing. The last time I had my heart ripped out and stomped on; I believed that if only I were attracted to women life would be a whole lot easier. Like you (a girl attracted to penises - not so much man boobs.)I immediately ruled out the lesbian option.

Good to see you back, though I wish it were under different circumstances.

Sean said...

ack! welcome back, but sorry about the breakup... it was the best of times, it was the ...

Marvo said...

Some women like man boobies?

No one told me this.

But what if those man boobies are supported by a man bra? That can't be sexy.

Anyway, all men are stupid!

Oh wait...I'm a man.

Oh wait...I'm not very bright.

I guess all men are stupid.

Erika said...

Amy: Glad to hear you're with me on the lesbian thing. Well, not WITH me...but you know. Damn irresistable penises, or should it be peni?

Sean: It's great to be back. Especially when I have such sweet readers :)

Marvo: Only teeny tiny man boobies. [rubs eyes to remove mental image of man bra burned into brain]. Thanks for the support :)

Peter DeWolf said...

Wow. Quite a busy hiatus!

Starboard Tack said...

I am disappointed for you. I had hoped you were gone from the dating blogger's world forever (moving into the couple's blogger world).

I would say "Welcome Back" but I am sorry you are here...

Erika said...

Peter: What can I say, I'm a busy beaver. Tee hee.

ST: Um, thanks (I think).

canadian sadie said...

Welcome to the club--membership appears to be growing. Good thing we're one kick-ass fun group of girls!

Hannah said...

Oh yikes. That sucks - huge amounts of sympathy. Back on the blogroll if you're sticking around, then! :)

Erika said...

Sadie: We are kick ass, aren't we :)

Hannah: Blogroll away - I'm here to stay. Hey...that rhymes!

Kirsten said...

Your funny, penises and man boobies, I'm still laughing. Oh you have a way of putting things.