Monday, November 17, 2008

Ur In...I'm Out

My sister Kiki and my Brother-In-Law (who I affectionately refer to as B-I-L or Bil for short), came to stay with Paul and I for the weekend.

To cap off our Saturday evening dinner theatre, we dediced to head to the Casino for some cha-ching!

Want to know my method for scoring big at the slots? I walk around, and wait until a machine "calls to me." Ok, it doesn't actually call to me, because THAT would be crazy. But I get a certain "pull" - like Captain T. Kirk and his tractor beam.

I walk up to the machine, pop in my money. I converse in some small talk and then softly let it know what's coming - like Captain Kirk and his er, tractor beam. Cha-ching! Works every time. Unfortunately, Paul is lucky in love and well, that's it. We have a $20 cdn limit (each). Paul's money is gone within 2 minutes. My money doubles, triples, quadruples, um... fiveruples. Anyway you get the idea.

Saturday night I wasn't feeling the tractor beam. No matter how much I walked, not one machine beaconed to me. I lost. Again and again. I even asked Paul to stand on the other side of the room for fear his unlucky-except-in-loveness was rubbing off on me. It didn't make a difference. My casino mojo was nogo.

Down to my last $5, I felt a little something. A twinge perhaps? I moved quickly. Sat down. And pulled that slot machine handle for all it was worth. And then...I felt something. One part excitement, one part...moisture? What the...ew ew ew. Is that urine?

Oh. My. God. Somebody peed on my seat.

5 comments:

Delicieux said...

OH. My. God.... I would have been MORTIFIED!!! What did you do once you realized it?!?

Erika said...

I went home and took a nice looonnnggg hot shower!

Anonymous said...

That is absolutely disgusting. ew, ew, ew. I hope that this blog was embellished, and that you actually sat in beer.....or gingerale....or something......

ew, ew, ew, EW!

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Wow. That REALLY sucks. You poor thing!

Erika said...

Anonymous: I wish I was embellishing. Funny thing about pee...it doesn't smell remotely like gingerale.

G: Looking on the bright side, it could have been worse (read: embryonic fluid or beer).