Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Random Dating Advice, Tip#1

If you've ever been single/ engaged/ wish you were engaged/ married/ wish you weren't married/ pregnant/ not pregnant/ and/or alive on this planet then chances are you've been on the receiving end of...random unsolicited advice.

Such advice can come at you from anyone (random stranger in line at local Tim Horton's), at anytime (while pondering why they even make single-ply toilet paper during much needed pee break in ladies room at mall during shopping extravaganza) and about anything (why to avoid hormone replacement therapy).

But occasionally, and ironically, you'll get some bloody good advice that is actually useful. At a time when you are ready to put it to good use. Yesterday was my lucky day.

Ok, so there was this guy (it's hard to believe as you're reading this, but not all of my stories start out this way). This guy...we'll call him Peter, the Parts and Service guy.
Peter was quite charming and sweet, in a quasi-geeky way (the heck with bad boys...I'm a sucker for a geek). He'd been quite friendly with me over the past couple months while my car (only) was being serviced. I literally was into the dealership every week; people were beginning to think I worked there! The part didn't fit but they ordered a new one..could I come back next week or my bill wasn't ready, could I come back next week. Hmmm...sounded like someone was working up the guts to ask me out. Did I mind? Well, I didn't like the hundreds of dollars it was costing me to fix my car but if it resulted in my car getting fixed (a necessity), and a date invite (a bonus), then the answer is no.

Possible snag...unknown maritial status. My guy rader screamed "single" but it's iffy at best. Time for some MSI (maritial status investigation) care of my coworker, Mary. She is one of my biggest dating allies at work. Not just because she is like-minded singleton and is how I see myself in 20 years but because of her gusto in getting info on men. I call her "Undercover Mother".

Within minutes Mary was able to get the goods. Not those goods...the info on Peter. Turns out Peter sounds suspiciously like the live-in boyfriend of another coworker's friend. But she wasn't 100 percent undeniably sure, more like 85%. Hmmm....15% in my favour. I'm not a gambling gal (especially after this saga) but took those odds. Self-respect is so overrated.

Enter coworker Sally, Mary's cube farm neighbour. She just happened to be semi-eavesdropping (a popular sport enjoyed by everyone in the office) at that very moment on Peter-update convo with Mary. Sally went to high school with Peter, who's nickname was "rhymes with peep". Er, ok. He was kind enough to impregnate one of his high school classmates. He also has a baby with his live-in girlfriend but makes time to have affairs with other women. And something about bad eyesight? Quite possibly I stopped listening after the "rhymes with peep" word was uttered. Definately not exception-to-the-list material.

Only one question remained: Where the heck did I go so awry in my assessment of the situation?
I'm tired of investing shameless flirting time with off limit guys. Sally offered me this tidbit of advice: the outgoing guys that flirt shamelessly are usually the ones who are in a relationship; they have nothing to lose by shamelessly flirting, they will end the conversation and go home to their significant other. Single guys on the other hand, want to impress you, so they tend to be a bit more reserved thus carefully crafting a way to impress you.

Complete and utter...sense.


Grins said...

Psst, check out the latest Single of the Week at my site.

The Dummy said...

Well, we can't really help it if other people are going to lie to or mislead us. I think for the most part we assume someone's decent until we learn otherwise. Good sleuthing on your part though.

As for the flirting thing, the guy who's already got a g/f also just tends to be more confident - like you said, he's got nothing to lose, so he's more willing to give you that little wink and smile. The same goes for women, and I'm sure it's made both of us a little confused at times.

BTW, I found you through Grins.