Saturday, August 26, 2006

My Name Is Erika...And I Am An Addict

"Addict" n. one given up to something, usually an evil.

Yes, I'm sorry to report that I've fallen off the wagon. Not just any old horse drawn wagon though, the just-as-uncomfortable dating wagon.

On Saturdays it's my usual practise to relax and enjoy my coffee (x3), thus avoiding any/all house cleaning until absolutely necessary. This can leave me open and vunerable to temptation in the worst way. Trying to divert my attention to something frivolous, say pondering how the bone structure of Ashlee Simpson's face can change so dramically without plastic surgery (*ahem*) does not always work.

Ofcourse it does not help that several "a-date-would-be-nice" functions [celebratory work dinner and family wedding] are fastly approaching and there's zero stallions in my for-emergencies-only dating stable.

Possibility #1: Call metro male escort service and have them send a Fabio-hunk down for said functions. Downfalls include: $$$ I'd rather spend at Ikea, and possibly enduring scenario out of "The Wedding Date", not to mention endless questions from colleagues/family. Upsides include: Possible high-fives and "you go girl!" from colleagues/family. Perhaps escort service has first-time-buyer special...

Possibility #2: Post profile on online dating site. Downfalls include: attracting weirdos as seem to be blessed with natural weirdo-attracting ability, scaring potential non-weirdo with wedding date invite, incident involving garter belt, and endless questions from colleagues/family. Upsides include: A free drink or ten to assist with having a good time with weirdo and potential for snogging.

Possibility #3: Accept referrals from family/friends/colleagues/strangers on the street. Downfalls include: potential for zero referrals (due to cock blocking) or ending up with over-60 neighbour who likes to mow my lawn with his shirt off. Upsides include: ???

Hmmm...seems like a no-brainer. My [quite witty] online profile is now posted at Lavalife.ca. Let the weirdos roll in! I've experienced the online dating phenomenon before and truth be told, it can be addicting for those of us who: a) like shopping from the comfort of our own home and b) find word-smithing quite sexy. Sure, I have other more interesting and/or bizzare addictions (like things starting with "S" - speeding, Scrabble, suckers, and strawberries not to mention guys with glasses which doesn't start with "S" but I digress) I'll save those for another post.

[Note: technically this is not going against no-dating-until-the-list-is-done policy as it won't be a date per say but rather an accompaniment.]

10 comments:

Peter DeWolf said...

No link to the lavalife posting, eh?

How mysterious. ;)

Hannah said...

Meh. What are rules for if not breaking?!

Erika said...

Peter: No, no link. I have coworkers who read my blog :) But since they don't read the comments section...here's an excerpt: "Active and adventurous gal (think hiking and belly dancing) with a bit of good-home-country thrown in seeks well-mannered inner-geek with unique style, great butt and similar sense of adventure (think canoeing and salsa dancing)."

Unfortunately when I signed in I neglected to copy down my password and typed my email address incorrectly so I had to create another profile (used the same info). So technically I have two profiles [almost] the exact same but can only access one. Perhaps it's a sign...

Hannah: I couldn't have said it better myself!

Peter DeWolf said...

Hey, I found you!

"great butt" hee hee

I actually know quite a few people from where you are from...

Grins said...

A lovely accompaniment...that sounds acceptable. Of course I'm only approving of you cheating on your rule because of the stories we'll get from it. ;-)

Kirsten said...

Hey Sis,

I would recommend possibility #3. Your family, friends and coworkers are your best bets to find Mr. Right or Mr. Right now. I suggest you do a little survey. Write down each co-worker, family and friends name down on a piece of paper. Lets say you have 26 names, randomly select
half (18 names) of the above total sample. Then ask each of the 18 people randomly drawn this question:

How did you meet your significant other?

My educated guess is that 90% of the above individuals will list a person in possibility #3 as the introducer of their current mate. It is also my hypothesis that no one will say they met their significant other on line.

Erika said...

Peter: You can't beat a great butt! Well, actually you can but that's more of a spanking really. These "quite a few people" that you know...perhaps we should compare notes :)

Grins: I shudder to think of the stories...

Kirsten: You're my sister and I love you. That's why I have to tell you that half of 26 is 13 (not 18). When are you and b-i-l gonna set me up?

Peter DeWolf said...

Oddly enough, I mostly only know dudes from there.

Odder still, they could potentially be related to you or exes or sworn enemies.

Erika said...

Peter: Hmmm...that is odd ;) Sigh, the things I do for my blogger friends. Dish on the dudes.

Kirsten said...

Opps! I can't believe I said that 18 was half of 26. Blond moment.

If Troy and I met the perfect guy for you it doesn't change the fact that he would live 2 hours away. Not the best circumstance for a first date.

With my comment, I did not mean to suggest that you shouldn't do the on-line dating thing. I personally think you are the master of your own domain.