Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Jiggle Bells

[to the tune of "Winter Wonderland"...}

Lunch bell rings...are you listenin'?
In the coffee shop, bagels glisten.
A beautiful sight, we're carb loading tonight.
I should be walking instead of sittin' on my ass.

Yes, dear readers. THAT picture (extreme right) was taken during our annual Supervisors Breakfast in October and provided the inspiration for the little didi I wrote above. Not that I didn't lick my lips at the pancakes and sausage and bacon (oh my!). I did. Should I have had seconds? Um, probably not.

I already have holiday eaters guilt and it isn't even December! I want to cringe instead of Kringle. [sigh] Sadly, now I am thinking of Pringles.

I guess it doesn't help that I'm heading into this holiday season single, with "D" day fast approaching. For all you marrieds and/or those in a committed shagging relationship, you might not know about D day (no no, not that one). For singles, D day usually falls at the end of the first week in December. We singles know that if we have not had at least a second date with someone by then, we will be officially single for the entire holiday season. That's Christmas AND New Year's Eve. That means no exchanging meaningless presents with a [could be special some day if one/both of you don't *** it up] someone, no groping about at office holiday parties, no playing sit on Santa's knee...er, you get the idea.

Not that I'm looking about anyway. You know, I'm working on the list and all that.

I've just been slightly unfocused lately. Which is so unlike me.

I guess I've got things on my mind. Like why my computer speakers no longer work for sound but will emit one side of a CB radio conversation. FYI - they say 10-4 a lot. And who will win the tacky-as-hell Dancing With the Stars trophy (please please be Mario). And how to forget about the sassy little size 5 black dress (maybe size 7 if I keep eating those bagels) that's just calling my name at Smart Set.

Plus, there's the whole novel thingy that I'm supposed to have half-way completed.

I guess there's only one thing I can do...

Bartender! I'll have a whiskey sour. And make it a double.**

** The Redhead-Next-Door does not condone drinking as a way to solve and/or forget about world problems/life concerns/fantasies about coworkers. But approves of drinking for it's intended medicinal use - writing an ok blog post.**

8 comments:

Amy said...

I'm VERY familiar with "D" day.

I truly feel your pain, but do you know what's worse than not having found a significant other by "D" day? Getting dumped on "D" day.

Yes, it's true, I was dumped last year on "D" day. The first Friday of December. Don't believe me? I'll forward the e-mail. The miserable prick dumped me by e-mail! Forgive me, I'm still just a bit bitter.

Thanks for the reminder. Bartender, I need a whiskey sour too! Heck, just leave the bottle.
We girls gonna' drink it toegether!

Anonymous said...

I'm confused. Is that supposed to be a bad pic?

Erika said...

Amy: Nothing like some whiskey to make you forget all about being a women scorned :)

Peter: No, it's a booty-ful photo. However, most women aren't completely happy about having their bottom as a photo centerpiece. It'd be like if you were photographed emerging from a pool, naked. On a cold night.

Anonymous said...

Who told you about those photos??

Sean said...

whoa...

Erika said...

Peter: Ah, I can not give away my secret powers of persuasion and who [or is it whom] I used them on.

Sean: Is that "whoa" as in I could be JLo's butt double? Or "whoa" as in I could be Newman's butt double?

Sean said...

i'm not a big fan of either j-lo or newman... but it's a good "whoa". definately good.

Kirsten said...

I think you are entitled to indulge. If I had to eat soup, smoothies, and pureed foods for two months because I could not chew due to my retainer thingy (what is the correct name for that devise?). Once I got the hang of using it, I would be seriously starved for quite sometime.