Friday, October 05, 2007

Shrinking Violet

I always took great pride in the fact that I am 5"6 and 3/4's [I always stressed the "3/4's" part too]. I took solace being "tall for a girl". In my heels (which I ALWAYS have on my size 7 and 1/2 feet) I knew I towered to 5"10. Easily.

Yesterday I was filling out my passport application, and the answers to their very rude questions. I mean come on - asking a girl about her age AND weight...it’s dangerous territory. Not to mention the whole "what’s your hair color" question. What if you’re a color chameleon like me? Red usually but with occasional stints as a brunette.

I was literally sweating. One wrong answer and my passport could be denied. I decided I’d better double check on my eye color, so I asked my coworker Camey. She answered with a confident "Gray." Ok, good. That’s what I thought. Better double check on the height. Again, I asked Camey. She stood up, saying "You’re about the same height as me [with a hand measuring motion], so about 5"4."

WTF.

Horrified, I forced my coworker Evan to measure me. The proof was in the measuring tape. I am 5"4 and 1/2! I’ve been lying to myself for 10 years. All those times I told dates I was 5"6 and 3/4 - wrong! How is this possible? I mean, I was off by 2 and 1/4 inches. That’s more than a little bit. That’s quite a bit. My whole "kinda tall for a girl" identity is shattered. I’m a short little thing. Vertically challenged. Petite.

Today I couldn’t even bring myself to wear heels to work. I felt like an impostor. I decided to wear flats and embrace my shortness.

Perhaps I should weigh myself while I’m at it. Maybe I only weigh 115, and all these years I’ve been thinking I weighed 135.

5 comments:

Amy said...

It might be time to talk to your doctor about Boniva®. Boniva® is a prescription drug that is used for treating and preventing osteoporosis. It can be taken daily or monthly. Possible side effects include arm or leg pain, diarrhea, and indigestion or heartburn.

Keep your chin up shorty.

Erika said...

Amy: Make sure you don't spend that kick-back from the pharmaceutical company all in one place ;)

Ashley said...

I feel your pain. I'm 5'2 and a half, or was. I've like dropped an inch over the past 5 years. I did switch doctors though and I think this ones lying. I'm not 5'1. That is just ridiculous. That would make me bordering on midget size!! (I've been lurking on your site for a little so I thought its about time i say hi from a fellow redhead!)

Slightly Disorganized said...

rad. :)

Erika said...

Ashley: I never even thought to question my doctor's honesty...good thinking :) Welcome to the site fellow redhead!

SD: Um, thanks :)