Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Undiscovered Dating Techniques #3: The Blogmance

[Cue the violins]

Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler brought us the romance.

Big Brother Allstars Will and Boogie brought us the bromance, the showmance, and the less poetically homance.

I'm pleased to bring you [wait for it]...the blogmance. Ta Da!

The concept of the blogmance is cutting edge dating technology. Observe.

Have you ever read a blog? Well, ofcourse you have, you're reading one right now. But not just any blog. I'm talking about one that is so witty, so carefully crafted, so bloody brilliant, you're left amazed. **Ah hem**

You read every day, without fail. You make comments, without fail. Ok, maybe you don't comment on the slightly boring posts about boy bands and sports but everything else is fair game.

You check out your fav blogger's profile a few times (ok, dozens). Then you start to wonder what this person is like in their regular non-blogging life. You Google them. Then you wonder how some crazy **** like that ended up on Google.

You start to think emailing them might be a good idea. You pose a question, just to make it seem like you're interested in the answer. But you're not really. Unless ofcourse it's to ask if they like to "do the fondue" or about their knickers. Or maybe the Knicks. Because even though you don't fancy basketball, they do.

Then they email you back. Score! You could be onto something here. So, you reply to their reply to your inquiry. Your mind is all swirly with possibilities and low blood sugar. Hotmail must add extra servers to keep up with all the emailing activity. And that's just for the ones you're sending. Actually, you're doing more than your fair sharing of emailing. You shouldn't be doing that.

Wait a minute...oh no. Oh. No.

You, my friend, have become a Blocker [Blogger + Stalker = Blocker]. Now why did you have to go and do that for? I can't coach you on how to have a blogmance if you're going to act like that. Put down the boiling pot of rabbits. Back away from the stove.

Perhaps it's best to leave this technique to the professionals :)

[Note: Let's take care of a little thing I like to call copyright enfringement. The hillarious faux romance novel cover on the left can be found at www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/

6 comments:

Peter DeWolf said...

The Knicks suck.

And you gotta watch that low blood sugar.

Sean said...

so how many rabbit deaths are you responsible for?

Erika said...

Uh none. This post is not about moi.

Sean said...

ah. you just sounded so well informed i was wondering if it was first hand knowledge.

Peter DeWolf said...

If this isn't about you, does it mean that you are stalking a stalker and reporting back to us?

Hannah said...

Or is someone stalking you? Go on - give us a name!