Season 10 of the ultimate (ULTIMATE) top notch show has begun - the Amazing Race. And I can't help but plead my case to cutie pie Phil Keoghan to allow Canadians to enter the throws of non-stop action adventure. I'd consider "settling" and be a contestant on Fear Factor but lost-in-your-eyes Joe Rogan doesn't permit North of the Borders. Come to think of it, sweet cheeks Jeff Probst doesn't want to cosy up to a Canuck during a friendly game of Survivor either.
What's with the Hoser ban? I'm sensing a conspiracy amongst American networks. And there can only be one reason for keeping Canadians out in the reality TV cold...because we'd win. Every time.
Sure, the game wouldn't be the same if the country that coined the loonie and toonie were given all-access passes. But think of what we would bring to the show! Just think...[I feel a list coming on]
Top Reasons Why Canadians Should be Contestants on The Amazing Race:
- Endearing Canadian accent
- Ability to convert from metric to imperial (or SI) system and then back to metric again
- Great sense of direction and map reading. Bonus: can point out location of America on an unmarked map
- Possible sponsors would include Tim Hortons - free Timbits for everyone!
- Drag a** because of gained weight from free Timbits
- Renowned for politeness. Examples include: "I'm sorry" (even when we know it's not our fault!), "no - you go first to the pitstop", "don't highjack our plane please" etc.
- Ability to speak many languages: English, Acadian French, Quebec French, and Newfoundlander which will come in handy when travelling to...er, Canada.
- Supply of Canadian flag patches for backpacks
- Unique storeytelling ability, "This one time at Rubber Band Camp..."
And if that wasn't enough to convince you Phil, perhaps you could make an exception just for me? If you say "I'm Erika" really fast, it sounds like you're saying America.
Coincidence? Not bloody likely. I take size small in a t-shirt btw ;)