Burn Baby Burn

#3. Donate items to charity including subtlely sweaty and sweet smelling alma mater sweatshirts from ex-boyfriends/ex-dates/ex-repair men, soft fuzzy stuffed bunny, and compilation CD of "our songs". COMPLETED

And it goes a little something like this...

Boy likes girl (it's obvious WHY).

Boy gives girl little tokens of his affection (mixed tape of cheesy songs that remind him of how sweet she is, jewerly, unlimited use of his Acadia University t-shirt to wear to bed because it looks way better on her anyway, cutesy stuffed animals that remind her of how cuddling stuffed animals is no substitute for his manly muscles, lock of his hair, key to his condo).

Boy breaks girl's heart.

Girl tosses anything remotely resembling boy or his favorite things in garbage, except maybe the stuffed animals because they deserve better.

Girl takes everything out of the garbage. And instead decides to burn items in symbolic bad-dating/relationship purification ritual.

Girl underestimates power of fire fueled by gasoline and anger.

Fire Department is called. Hunky firefighter rescues girl. And she rescues him right back. Sigh.

I can't tell you how many times this has happened. Oh right...zero.

I tried to find some items to donate for the cause, but only a cassette, a CD and stuffed bunny surfaced. What would be the point of donating a cassette? Do people even use these archaic systems anymore? Instead, will consider adding to community time capsule so people in the year 3040 will understand the concept of the boombox. The CD is an exact replica of Beatles #1 which I lost and last boyfriend thoughtfully replaced (complete with song title insert and faux Beatle autographs). What good would come from getting rid of that? Gone would be the days of belting out "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" while consuming morning coffee and pondering whether it's a skirt or goucho pant day. Had already given the bunny to my son Aidan.

I'm not one to hang onto the past. What can I say? Like a good dose of post-relationship bulemia; purging tokens from a relationship really helps me start fresh. And I can only speculate at this point, but I think a hunky fireman would too. What?!? I'm just saying...