Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Kissing Balls and Other Things Not To Be Talked About At the Office

A girl at work was selling kissing balls for the holiday season for the great price of $10 per ball. (If you don't know what kissing balls are for god's sake don't look it up on Google without the moderate safe search enabled).

A guy I work with went home and told his wife that he wanted kissing balls for his birthday being sold by a girl at work, and that they were $10 per ball. His wife bluntly told him she didn't care that it was his 50th birthday, she wasn't doing that. (Obviously she did a Google search without the moderate safe search on).

A true story. Also one that should not be talked about too much at work unless you want your productivity (and quite possibly a performance evaluation) to be effected.

Sometimes you might hit the afternoon slump at work, and feel a little energy drained. While it is suggested to pour yourself a nice herbal green tea, it is not suggested to send an email to a male friend about said kissing ball story because it doesn't lead to productivity.

Most likely it will lead to other suggestive topics, not limited to French cheek kissing, Russia and Roseanne Barr. It will also result in one or both parties splashing their faces with cold water and definately not lead to any work being done.

So that you don't fall prey to this type of workplace distraction, I have assembled a list...

The Top Ten Things Not To Be Discussed At Work (unless you work from home you lucky *******):
- Coco Puffs
- Sean Connery or James Bond movies
- Cinnamin buns
- Showering
- Monkeys
- Monkey wrenches
- Bar wenches
- All that athletic ass-slapping that goes on in football
- Italy
- David Beckman

This is not an exhaustive list but should get you started. Or not started as the case may be.

P.S. You're welcome ;)

[Post Blog Post Note: Kissing balls are a big ol' ball of garland type materials - like a ball of misletoe but bigger, and made from spruce boughs, etc. You can also make them out of flowers. Anything really. Except maybe not pudding.]


Anonymous said...

it is not suggested to send an email to a male friend about said kissing ball story because it doesn't lead to productivity.

Especially if you don't explain exactly what kissing balls are.

JL4 said...

Goodness, you are hysterical!

Anonymous said...

funny. AND educational.

Erika said...

Peter: See my Post Blog Post Note. I aim to please.

jl4: Thanks! And single to boot, whata combo.

Sean: I like to kill two birds with one stone. Unless those birds are crows...

Kirsten said...

And here I thought that only the following were not to be discussed at work: Politics, Religion and about other people behind their backs.