Tuesday, January 09, 2007

When Larry Met Sally

Pre-post qualifier: in my defence this post was absolutely hysterical when I wrote it last night. Now, not so much.

Larry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Larry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because Oprah always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no Oprah involved. Unless there's a Michael Bolton special. I love Michael Bolton. [singing] "How can we be lovers if we can't be friends?"
Larry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Larry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Larry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I'm involving Oprah with these men without my knowledge? Without a Michael Bolton special?
Larry: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT you to stop calling "it" a Va-j-j.
Sally: They do not.
Larry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Larry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Larry: Because I have a penis. And no man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive that calls "it" a Va-j-j. He always wants to get therapy for her.
Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive that calls "it" a Va-j-j?
Larry: No. You pretty much want to get therapy for 'em too.
Sally: What if THEY don't want to get therapy with YOU?
Larry: Doesn't matter because the Va-j-j thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Larry: I guess not.
Sally: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in Gander.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

It IS disturbing when they call it.... that.

Kirsten said...

Were you drinking when you wrote this?

PS: A lot....:-)

Erika said...

Peter: Agreed.

Kirsten: Sadly, no I was not. If I was, it would have been MUCH funnier.