Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Love and Furniture

I am currently working on a dating theory entitled, "Curse of the furniture." Ok, so it doesn't sound very catchy just yet. But I'm in the initial stages of development. And catchy titles don't happen until much much later...like after experimental tests on lab subjects and after many [many] bottles of wine.

My "research" is based on two experiences, with two relationships that went to s***. But I'll let you be the judge.

The first was with Gordon* (
*His real name). Gordon was getting back on his feet after a messy divorce. Gordon was fun. Gordon was smart. I really liked it when Gordon ******************* and **********. Anyhoo, Gordon's son was ready to move into a big boy bed. I still had my son's toddler bed, which wasn't being used, so I offered it to Gordon. In exchange, he offered an outdoor stove thingy to my parents which they were in the market for. Ok, sounds good so far, right? Wrong! We broke up soon after. Sure, it could of been because our timing was off. Or that we weren't compatable. Maybe it was that our waists were the same measurement. Though, I doubted.

One word: furniture.

Then, most recently ofcourse, there is Liam** (**Not his real name). Liam is getting back on his feet after a messy divorce. Liam paid attention. Liam could cook. He was the only guy I've ever been with who could ************************** and thought about ************** . Anyhoo, Liam was remodeling his daughter's bedroom and had been using a wooden baby change table to heap her clothes on. I had a sweet little antique dresser that wasn't being used, so I leant it to Liam. Ok, sounds good so far, right? Wrong! We broke up soon after. Sure, it could have been that he turned into a control freak. Or that we weren't compatable. Maybe it was because he hated how his feet looked and wouldn't wear sandles even on a warm summer's day. [Ok, maybe it was the last one . Sandles on guys = mmmm...sexy!]
Though, I doubted.

One word: furniture.

On a more positive note...I'm back to online dating. I think "sucker for punishment" are the words you're looking for.

6 comments:

canadian sadie said...

I hope you have more luck than I did. I've met some perfectly pleasant men...who weren't QUITE so perfect upon actually meeting them...and also the current bane of my existence (read: best friend, compatriot, confidant, who-the-freak-knows-what-he-is). I keep getting pulled back into it, but am currently still too gun-shy to follow through.

Good luck...it's a jungle out there!

Marvo said...

Gals in sandals...even HOTTER. Especially when they're not wearing anything else. :-)

Peter DeWolf said...

I once performed a little ***********

It's a good thing that I stretched first.

Starboard Tack said...

On-line dating ... Ugggghhhh!!! But it can be great if you are solely seeking quick sex...

Erika said...

Canadian Sadie: Maybe I'll meet my Tarzan :)

Marvo: That is something I did not know. But why would she be wearing sandals and nothing else?

Peter: Oooo...I bet you did. I've always pictured you being very limber.

ST: That is NOT what I'm looking for.

Charlene said...

I haven't experienced the furniture break up. Hmmmm messy divorce is a common denominator as well.
Did you get the dresser back from the Control Freak??