Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Profile of the Damned

For those of you who've ever tried online dating (I'm forming a support group btw) you know it's all fun and games until it's time to write your profile. The dreaded 100 words or less junket of prose that's going to attract your future potential something or other.

Ok, it's probably not a shock to learn I have no trouble writing the profile. A chance to talk about moi? Using my favorite aphrodisiac - words? Easy. But I have little (possibly no) conscious thought as to how I'm actually coming across to the opposite sex. Too strong? Too ballsy?

[Here's where you come in]

So, I've decided to put my draft profile here for your viewing pleasure/horror and accept feedback/opinions/suggestions. Just keep in mind, I'm delicate :) Oops...that should read "devilish".

Opening line: Writers make novel lovers.

Fun, flirty redhead. Smart and witty to boot. Also likes boots. Constantly looking for writing material. Should mention, am part-time writer, full-time [insert non-glam but completely rewarding day job here]. Can cook more often than not. Major "sure thing" is stuffed mushroom making capabilities, best served with white wine. Thinks cheesecake is...Mmmmmm. Flies by the seat of pants. Has never actually flown in plane. Prefers skirts to pants. Fit and curvy.

Seeking guy with "wow" written all over him. Will accept home-made t-shirt with "wow" written on it. Knows what gentleman means, and can spell it. Has sense of humor. Employed in [insert non-glam but completely rewarding job here]. Considers himself more of a "dog person" than a "cat person". Active. Sweet. Sweaty occasionally. Makes the first move. Has grab-worthy butt.

So whatcha think? Too much? Not enough? Yes, yes, after you've stopped laughing and can formulate sentences.

9 comments:

Erika said...

I'm assuming that since no one has commented it means: a) my profile is perfect as is and I should just sit, back, relax and watch the cyber men trip at my cute little manicured feet, or b) no one is reading my blog this week. Hmmm...I'm thinking it's "a".

Sean said...

it's pretty good. coming real close to the border line of SO cute that i'd be worried that you're a little too cocky/self-assured/something. but plenty of humor and what not. i'm not sure that the title would suck me in or not. hmmmm.

Alan said...

I think it's an excellent ad - and would find it utterly charming.

You come across as smart, literate and humerous.

I suspect you'll whittle out quite a few of the less erudite ad browsers so hopefully the responses this will elicit will be from the type of group you'd be interested in.

Erika said...

Sean: That's a fair assessment. Any opening line suggestions?

Alan: Thanks :) And me too. I've tried writing differrent profiles to see if it would attract different kinds of guys but the engineers, accountants, bankers and computer geeks always find me, which works for me. I find them sexy.

Starboard Tack said...

Personally, I loved the opening line (as both erudite and flirtatious).

I prefer well-written profiles (most are so incredibly similar and dull), so this works for me ... but I might suggest dropping the "constantly looking for writing material" -- guys might not want to be the source of your new material.

Erika said...

ST: Yeah, I thought about that. But they will be the source of my new material :)

Charlene said...

LOVE IT!!

phoenix said...

apologies for the tardy response but just came across this post (via james)I have recently tried and been succesful (thank god because I was close to giving up on men entirely) in the internet dating lark. Your profile is fab and if I'd add something it would be that you are honest,straight talking and you expect the same in return. I put that in mine and it was this that got me the most response.

Erika said...

Char: Thanks Char! And remember, I'm up for adoption again.

Phoenix: Thanks for the tip! I'm adding it to my profile as we speak...er, correspond.